negative three: number theory
from FILM NOTES ON A GOD WHO DREAMS WITH THE SKY PAINTED NEON: A Documentary Aging is just learning new definitions for numbers. Is changing numerical figures to human ones. Is remaking digits as the spacing of fingers, to their capacity to do magic, to spin something from nothing. Ekhi Omkar. One is God. One is nothing and one is all; God is nothing and God is all. Two is you and I. You, but I? You, and I. Three is the number of leaves on the clovers I find. I have never been one for luck. Four. The number of chambers in your heart, three of which I have been to, one of which I never will: the left ventricle that brings blood to the rest of your body. Do I give life to you? Five. The day when God made humankind, when he created and created and created, and gave to what he created, and then stood up to gaze at what he made. Indeed, it was very good, but was it good enough? Six. The branches of a snowflake, melting onto your nose under the winter afternoon sun. The date of my birthday, where I blew out the candles and dumbly wished for more wishes. No one was listening. Or so I thought. Seven. The Sabbath. Rest. Sink into the mattress and recall the great warmth that came from being held. Rub your hands together and build a fire. Eight is the legs of Anansi, the spider who gave us the Word. Is the length of the path to be walked. To be free from. Nine, written in that kindergartener script, is just the removal of a line away from
n · ne. None. How easy it is to rob. Will you hold me when they take from me? Will you wield a weapon, or simply wrap me in blankets, throw your body over mine, sing me a spiritual? Will you call upon angels, or will you face darkness yourself?
Are you afraid? Max Zhang