BIG BOOTIE MIX: Not For The Faint of Heart

Thanks to the rise of SoundCloud, virtually anyone these days can break into the music industry. Seriously, anyone. Remember your high school AP chemistry teacher Mr. Green? His band just released a chart-topping single called “You Turn Me Electr-On”. That kid who used to make fart noises with his armpit? He just signed with Atlantic Records. Gone are the days when you needed talent or skill to achieve success. Just grab your MacBook, download the latest version of GarageBand, and you can be the next Bibbie Eyelash. To be sure, I don’t mean to suggest that the current music industry is a joke. On the contrary, we have seen a wildly competitive pool of talent emerge. From self-proclaimed hip-hop stars who rap about their bar mitzvahs to experimental groups that dabble in ASMR, artists are pushing us to reconsider what constitutes music. While many groups have caught the public eye, one feisty duo has managed to make a name for themselves: Two Friends. Two Friends consists of Johnny and Brad, two high school pals who share an intimate love for mixing tracks and dropping beats. Wanting to honor their bromance but not wanting to sound too gay, the couple decided to go with the most platonic name imaginable. Neither Johnny nor Brad knows how to write, so Two Friends does not have any original songs. Instead, they employ a little known technique called plagiarism to create their music. Two Friends is most famous for their hour-long musical sagas called “Big Bootie Mixes”, which combine songs from across genres and decades. According to SoundClouduser6969, “Listening to a ‘Big Bootie Mix’ is like giving your phone to your 11-year-old brother with ADD and letting him click shuffle.” Each “Big Bootie Mix” contains only 20 seconds of each song, so there’s no need to press skip. Two Friends knows that Tik Tok has basically destroyed everyone’s attention span and don’t expect you to listen to entire songs. Instead, they have created energetic, anxiety-inducing tracks that are sure to make you wish you had never clicked play. What is most impressive about Big Bootie Mixes is the intricate layering of songs. “Big Bootie Mix, Vol. 8” includes the 2000’s hip-hop classic “Ms. Jackson” paired with sounds of whales giving birth. Meanwhile, “Big Bootie Mix, Vol. 13” features world-renowned artist Alvin and the Chipmunks performing a cover of “Let’s Get it On” that would make anyone want to get it on. From Prince to the Beatles to Charlie D’Amelio, Two Friends plays homage to all of The Greats. To put it lightly, Two Friends and their Big Bootie Mixes are the best things to happen to music since Aqua’s release of “Barbie Girl”. Illustration by Sabrina Shaffer Shaffer is a freshman in the College studying Sociology. She is a proud fan of Big Bootie Mixes.

BIG BOOTIE MIX: Not For The Faint of Heart