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The Indy’s Halloween 2017 Costume Recommendations

October 13, 2017

Our university’s president. 

 

Taylor Swift (Scary) 

        The old Taylor can’t come to phone right now. Why? Because she’s undead: Zombie Taylor Swift is the perfect scary—but not too scary—costume this October. Tay Tay’s recent reinvention as a slightly darker version of herself can yield all sorts of other creative costume ideas too. For instance, you could be Post-Nuclear Armageddon Taylor Swift, writing cloying love songs to your radiation-induced squirrel-human-hybrid boyfriend. You could be Fiery Volcano Monster Taylor Swift, spewing lava and charred black Igneous rock at your enemies and disloyal friends. 

What you’ll need: 

* A $25 gift card to Hot Topic

* 15+ ex-boyfriends

* Pure, concentrated evil

* Twitter feuds with multiple celebrities

* Disdain for carbon-based life forms 

 

Kim Kardashian (Scary) 

        The perfect companion to the above Taylor Swift costume, this one requires you to spend your Halloween recording anything and everything anyone else says. Alternatively, you can spend the night insisting that your Taylor Swift sidekick *really* ought to don a snake costume instead. Get your friend to make an appearance as Giant Basilisk Taylor Swift or Demonic Medusa Taylor Swift, and you can consider your job done. 

What you’ll need: 

* A set of complex stealth recording apparatuses 

* The Sword of Gryffindor (see Giant Basilisk Taylor Swift)

* The inability to feel shame 

* A career, somehow

 

Incredibly Normal Human Mark Zuckerberg (Existentially Scary) 

        It is I, Mark “the Zuck” Zuckerberg. Just wanted to let readers of The Georgetown Independent, those who enjoy Arts and Entertainment, know that I think I’d make a great, incredibly normal costume this Halloween. If you don’t want a scary, gruesome or witty costume, I, Mark Zuckerberg, embody the bland and the moderate, and am in no way creepy nor give off vibes of being distinctly inhuman or robotic. My lack of identifiable qualities, good or bad, will lead you and your friends to a pleasurable and engaging candy-hunting evening, as I lead the global economy into a future of opaque techno-bureaucracy. 

What you’ll need: 

* A slice of toast, to be eaten normally, in the mouth. 

* Human skin

* A “job” that produces human bartering chips “money”

* The ability to surveil/terminate any hack newspaper writers who mock you

* A presidential campaign? Seriously?

 

Ted Cruz (Neutral Evil) 

        Is he a Republican? Is he a Libertarian? Is he even biologically human? The man who was front-runner for the Republican nomination for about two minutes in 2016 is back—for revenge! Donald Trump, Ben Carson, twenty other identical Republican governors —no nominee is safe on the Night of the Living Ted! Dress up as this Twilight Zone-esque politician and sow fear (or at least mild, disconcerting bizarreness) at your Halloween party!

What you’ll need:

* The expression of constantly holding back tears

* An earpiece, to communicate with your Reptilian masters

* A presidential campaign? Seriously?

 

New Leo’s (Lawful Evil) 

    Looking for new ways to subtly communicate to strangers that you go to Georgetown? Try dressing up as our premier, brand-new dining hall: New Leo’s. Don a hat with a brick roof and lots of chimneys; slap a pair of double-doors on the front of a t-shirt; refer to your pants as ‘lower Leo’s.’ How is New Leo’s scary, you ask? Calculate the cost of a meal plan and find out for yourself!

What you’ll need: 

* A crumbling exterior, and a brightly-lit hypermodern interior complete with itsy-bitsy, microscopic serving sizes.

* A campus-wide sense of irritation and nostalgia

 

President DeGioia (Wholesome) 

       A costume imitating the administrator of our intellectual fiefdom may seem like it has many moving parts: the right shade of eyeliner to emulate those cold, blue, justice-seeking eyes. The right suit to carry his demeanor, which is a unique combination of Liam Neeson and Teddy-Bear. The hair. But worry not! We’ve concocted a foolproof strategy to make you look your DeGioiBEST:

What you’ll need: 

* Solo Cups filled with the Cura Personalis

* Your best George Costanza outfit, minus the glasses

 

PC: chopkieth/ Flickr

 

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